Feb 20, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire : A Review

Being a movie fanatic , from the first time I saw Slumdog Millionaire listed in the "Top 250 movies" of imdb.com, I was dying to watch this movie, and now I have watched this movie I am dying with rage.

After waiting for weeks (bloody load shedding!) and hearing rave reviews till I got tired , I watched this movie to find a terribly over hyped ridiculous fairy tale. Just a glorified fairy tale full of stereotypes and cliches but thanks to the marketing and western prejudice towards third world countries, it's getting rave reviews, has already won numerous awards, a 34th position on the imdb top 250 movies and is on its way to the Oscars.

I take movies as a form of art and also a medium of getting your ideas across the audience and it pains me to see such movies winning accolades. It saddens me to see people's ability to think logically subconsciously bullied by the media hype.

Let's play the Who wants to be a scumdog exploitaires? Quiz. Starting with a question for:

Rs. 1000: Does it take two hours to know the story of Slumdog Millionaire?
The film is very predictable,you can tell the whole story of the film in approximately 10 mins.All the characters are either black or white,excepting the hero's brother.The climax was a let down,typical of bollywood films(a frantic climax where somehow everything becomes right!)

Rs. 4000 : Is hindi for the villianious characters and low class characters whereas English is for any portagonist even if he is uneducated?
Language: The language in which the characters speak is the soul of a movie. Cidade de Deus, Shichinin no samurai, Ladri di biciclette were made in native language and so the originality of the movie was intact. Here kid learns to speak English so well when he lived in the slums of India and never learned to read. Okay, "whole movie can't be in subtitles" but then why do the prostitutes and the abusive husband of latika speaks in Hindi. Does it mean that hindi is spoken by the low class or villainous characters only. Why do the policemen speak English in Indian accent even when they are most probably more educated than Jamal.

Rs. 16000: Which is the most pathetic scene in the movie history?
A kid jumps into a pool of excreta to get an autograph of Amitabh Bachchan.And he gets the autograph!!!. What a pathetic scene!

Rs. 250,000: What is Real India and Real America?
The kid gets beated and tells the American , "This is real India" and the American lady handles him a $100 bill saying that's " real America"? WTF!!!! What do you mean?Since when do people tip with $100 bills, and this AFTER the people themselves have been robbed? Are Americans so foolish and so ego-trip centered?

Rs. 1 Million:Who wrote the history of Taj Mahal? And who can work as guides in Taj Mahal? How did Mumtaz die?
A lazy G***Fu**ing Indian wrote the history of Taj Mahal. Mumtaaz died in a road accident. AND tourists are so naive that they believe this!!

Rs. 2 Million:How did Amitabh Bachchan use to treat the participants of his show "Kaun Banega Crorepati?"
He makes such sarcastic comments like "chaiwala", "easier than making chai" and tries to humiliate his guest. Audience laugh at his sarcastic remarks and cheer. And he is very worried about someone winning so much money that he risks his image and feeds wrong answers. And it's a LIVE SHOW!

Rs. 5 Million: How does one know who invented revolver?
By looking his brother (who doesn't know himself) use a colt revolver to kill someone. What not many people (even who own a colt revolver) know someone knows by just seeing it being used.

Rs. 10 Million: How are the societies of the third world countries?
Morally Bankrupt. Not only there is poverty but there is misery everywhere.Nothing else!

And Finally the question of

Rs. 20 Million: Should Slumdog Millionaire win the Oscars or any more awards?
I will be Damned if it does. What wrong with Danny Boyle , I wonder. But still who knows, it the mass opinion that matters. Besides Oscar hasn't that good record of appreciating the good movies...take the example of "Shakespeare in Love" over "Saving Private Ryan". So the correct answer would be "ASK THE AUDIENCE".

Thanks for Reading patiently!


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